Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The Mad Janitor

Obligatory Intro Post

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve mopped piss off the floor, I wouldn’t be a janitor.
Yes. That’s how I’m going to introduce myself. With piss.
I work the early AM custodian shift at a grocery store. My job includes (but is not limited to) scrubbing toilets, collecting carts, picking up trash, making minor repairs and mopping piss off the fucking floor.
Let me repeat: MOPPING PISS. OFF THE FLOOR. Don’t think this is a problem limited to the guys either. Many a time have I waltzed into the ladies’ room and almost slipped on a pool of urine that some sick bitch decided to leave for me.

If you lack the mental capacity to understand “URINE GOES INTO TOILET” then you shouldn’t be out in public. Fuck you, go die.
Hi. My name is Janitor and I’m a tiny ball of concentrated rage. I’m an obsessive hand-washer and organizer, so you’d think being a custodian would drive me crazy.

It has.
Honestly, I like my job. Sure the pay is shit and the work is sometimes frustrating, but my coworkers are great and I have perfect hours. I’m lucky to have a job at all these days. Right? RIGHT?

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